Between Custom and Courtroom: What the Black Coffee Case Reveals About Marriage and Fairness

Lobola is often celebrated as a proud African tradition — but behind the ceremonies and family gatherings lies a tangled web of patriarchy, legal loopholes, and opportunism that affects both men and women.

Lobola was originally a symbol of respect — a way to unite two families and recognise the value of the woman and the relationship. It was never meant to “buy” a wife. But if we’re honest, it hasn’t always worked perfectly, and it’s not only colonialism that caused problems.

Before Colonialism: Power and Patriarchy

Even before Europeans arrived, certain flaws existed within traditional systems. Some families demanded excessive lobola, turning it into a display of wealth rather than a gesture of unity. In some cases, men treated lobola as a form of ownership — believing that paying it entitled them to full control over their wives. Women often had little say, and cultural expectations made it hard for them to leave unfair or abusive marriages.

These issues weren’t born out of colonialism; they came from long-standing power dynamics, social structures, and human greed. Patriarchy played a big role — the idea that men were the heads of households and women had to submit was deeply ingrained in many indigenous systems.

Colonialism: A New Set of Challenges

When colonialism arrived, it didn’t fix these issues — it complicated them. European rulers brought their own laws and refused to recognise customary marriages as valid. They introduced civil marriages, property contracts, and individual ownership, while disregarding indigenous systems that focused more on family and community.

This created confusion: Which marriage counted legally — the traditional or the civil one? Who got to own property in a system that never focused on individual wealth before? The result was a messy overlap between two systems — customary and colonial law — that didn’t always align.

And where there’s confusion, there’s room for exploitation. Greedy or opportunistic people began using “culture” selectively — claiming it when it suited them and rejecting it when it didn’t. Some used incomplete traditional ceremonies or legal loopholes to hide assets, avoid sharing property, or strengthen their claims in court.

Modern Examples of a Complex Legacy

High-profile cases show this tension clearly — and how both men and women can use culture or law when it suits their situation.

In the Black Coffee and Enhle Mbali case, culture was initially used as a shield by Black Coffee to argue that their customary marriage should not entitle Enhle to half of his assets. He claimed their later civil marriage and antenuptial contract excluded the default law of community of property. But the court found that their earlier customary marriage was valid and therefore entitled Enhle to an equal share.

By contrast, in the Zulu royal family, the situation was reversed. One wife of the late King Goodwill Zwelithini contested her marital status under customary law, and more recently, King Misuzulu’s first wife has sought legal protection over her civil marriage. She argues that his proposed additional marriage would be unlawful — yet questions remain about whether their own traditional marriage was completed according to full cultural rites.

These examples highlight how both men and women navigate and sometimes manipulate the grey areas between culture and law — using whichever framework strengthens their position. It’s a reflection of how complex, and sometimes inconsistent, the intersection between tradition and modern legality has become in South Africa.

The Real Issue: Misuse, Not Culture

Culture itself isn’t the enemy. The problem lies in how people use it. Lobola and customary marriages were built on fairness and family unity — not exploitation. But over time, human greed, patriarchy, and conflicting laws have distorted these values.

Colonialism didn’t create these problems — it simply added another set of rules that made it easier for people to misuse the system. It introduced Western-style individualism and formal contracts that clashed with community-based traditions, creating space for manipulation and inconsistency.

Reclaiming Fairness in Customary Marriages

Today, South Africa’s Recognition of Customary Marriages Act has helped restore balance. It recognises customary marriages as equal in legal standing to civil ones. This means both partners are protected under the law, particularly when it comes to property and inheritance.

For women, this change is crucial — it ensures that their contributions to a marriage, whether financial or emotional, are valued and legally protected. For men, it brings clarity and fairness, preventing disputes caused by outdated or misunderstood customs.

Culture is powerful, but it only works when it’s honoured honestly.